Very few things are as painful or devastating as the loss of a child. There is no love like the love you feel for your child, so to lose that child is nothing short of a tragedy. Then what do you do for someone who has experienced such a loss? It seems like nothing you say or do is substantial enough to help. The parents don’t expect you to undo their loss, they know you can’t. But they do need you to be there for them and to support them in their time of sorrow. Here are 4 ways you can help console someone who is grieving the loss of a child.
1. Just Take Care of It
Don’t wait for the parents to ask you for a favor, it likely won’t happen. Take note of where they could use some help and just take care of it. Tell them you’re coming over tomorrow to clean the house. Pick up some essentials at the grocery store and re-stock their fridge. Bring over a meal on your way home from work one night. These gestures show that you’re thinking of the parents during this difficult time and that you’re here for them.
2. Listen
Sometimes a grieving parent just needs to talk about it. Even if you think the parents have more than enough people to talk to, offer up your ear anyway. It’s not safe to make these assumptions because everyone reacts differently to these types of circumstances. Some people shy away from talking about death, so some of the parent’s best friends might be MIA at a time when they need them most.
3. Share Your Memories
If you have any pictures, videos or stories of your friend’s son or daughter, find a way to share them. If you have time, put together a scrapbook of pictures and write the story behind each picture in the margins. You could have pictures or memories of their child that the parents never knew about. The parents will cherish these additional memories of their child forever.
4. Visit “Just Because”
You don’t always need a reason to stop in and visit. Often impromptu visits are the most meaningful for parents who are grieving. It shows that you were just thinking about them and felt like stoping by. The pressure is off and there are no expectations on either end. You never know, you could have caught them at a time when they really needed someone but were too afraid to ask.
Every parent handles the loss of a child differently. Don’t assume that just because you know someone else who has lost a child that you know what they’re going through. All you can do is be there for the parents and offer up a helping hand during this sad time.
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